


Kieran the Cat

by Missterryrighter



Category: Purple Hyacinth - Ephemerys & Sophism (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25726411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missterryrighter/pseuds/Missterryrighter
Summary: Kieran gets turned into a cat due to reasons and gets adopted by one Officer Lauren Sinclair.
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair & Kieran White, Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White
Comments: 17
Kudos: 113





	1. Chapter 1

Normally the rain would be fine. Normally, Kieran White wasn’t a ten-pound ball of dark fur and nails. That’s what knives were for. But that was what his life was like right now. As he clawed through his clothes trying to pull out his keys he recounted how he’d ended up in this situation.

He’d been in Grey chapel on his way to work in the 11th district when he’d run into someone. They were a man, about his height, pale hair. He’d caught part of what the man said under his breathe, “Maybe this will teach you.” Before he fell, passed out, and woke up naked, smaller, and fury. And still somehow filled with rage.

He gave up on the keys and all the stuff in his apartment. It’d been a nice apartment, but goodbye forever apparently. Thank God he wasn’t carrying a knife. He’d have missed the knife.

Besides he was cold, and wet. His mass of dark fur clung to him and soaked him down to his bone. He could hear himself whining and it sounded pitiful even to him. Being a cat was the worst.

Leaving his clothes he trotted along sidewalk, under roof tops and weaving through people’s legs.

When he was almost out of Grey Chapel an older man almost tripped over him. Kieran had hissed and the man had kicked him. He’d been punted a little ways away and landed on his side in a puddle. He was dazed. Being a cat was the worst.

After that he was more careful where he stepped but still in the long, exhausting, walk to the 11th district he almost got stepped on, kicked, run over, or had things dropped on him. Even being a big cat he had little legs. Children chased him and tried to pull his tail. A shop keeper hit him with a broom when he tried to steal a fish because he was hungry. A lady tried to pick him up and she’d dropped him when he’d scratched her.

By the time he got to outside the police station his body and his pride was sufficiently bruised. He sat under the eaves curled up and shivering and growling at anyone that came near him. He should have just gone to the cave. He could have fit through the bars. He could have slept in his bed. He would commit a murder for a bed right now. Why had he come here? It wasn’t like he had work—it occurred to him that as a cat he didn’t have to work. No police work. No Phantom Scythe work. The thought was liberating until he was splashed in the face by a group of police officers retiring from work.

He didn’t have the energy to hiss. This sucked. He hated it. He grumbled until he heard a familiar voice and looked up to see Lauren. Oh right. She does work here.

“Aw it’s a kitty,” Kym said as she leaned down and tried to pet him.

He batted at her but didn’t draw his claws.

“Does he belong to someone?” Lauren asked joining her as she squatted besides Kym. She he didn’t at as she reached out and scratched the top of his head.

He leaned into her hand and he found himself purring.

Lauren checked under his neck and there was no collar. “He doesn’t look like he belongs to anyone.”

“Maybe he’s a stray?” Kym offered.

“He’s too put together for that,” Lauren said as she stood up leaving his bereft of scritches.

Kieran meowed and brushed up against her leg.

Sighing Lauren reached down and picked him up.

His small feet stood on her chest as he perched on her shoulder.

“Maybe he’s a lost pet,” Lauren said as she turned to head back inside.

Kym grinned and gran to get the door for her. “And if he’s not? You did say you’d wanted a cat. And it’d help you sleep.”

“How would it help me sleep?” Lauren asked dryly as she went inside.

“Something to cuddle.”

Kieran was not opposed to that prospect.

\---

As Lauren has suspected the large cat was not on any lost pet poster which meant she now had a cat who was friendly only to her on her hands. She decided to take him home, though he’d walked most of the way, trotting beside her.

When she’d let him in he’d poked around before hopping on the table and blinking at her.

What a polite cat.

“Are you hungry?” she asked as she took off her coat and hung it on the back of one of the chairs. “I could send the maids out to get you something.”

The cat landed with a whumpf and brushed against her leg before trotting towards the kitchen.

That was a yes apparently.

“I’ll call someone,” she said before walking to the stairs, but the cat got there first and yowled. It seemed he wanted her to personally feed him.

She sighed. “You’re better off with the maids you know.”

The cat snaked between her legs and headed back to the door.

“Why am I arguing with a cat,” she muttered before heading into the kitchen.

In all the rooms of her home this was the one she was the least confident. A dinner was prepared and laid out of her in covered dishes. The cat jumped on the counter and pushed open one of the containers before she could grab him and drop him on the floor.

He was going to need a name.

The cat protested strongly at this injustice, while she lifted the plate and put it away.

“This isn’t for you. You’ll get sick.”

He didn’t seem to care. It reminded her of someone.

Instead she rummaged through cold storage and produced some fish. She cut it into chunks to the best of her ability and set it on the floor in a little bowl for him.

“Here.”

He seemed displeased with the offering but accepted it regardless. And when he ate it was with gusto.

“You must have been hungry,” she said as she sunk down to the floor and began to pet his back. He was surprisingly soft, and though she would be loathe to admit it, petting him was weirdly soothing.

When he’d finished eating he crawled into her lap and licked her face.

“Ow stop,” she muttered pushing him off. “I don’t want fish kisses.”

She wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen a cat pout.

He followed her though, up to her office, and curled up on her desk, and to her bedroom, making a spot for himself at the end of her bed.

The only place he hadn’t been able to follow was the shower and that he had protested harshly.

\----

“Comfy,” she asked him as he circled for the fourth time near her legs.

No, he complained, before eventually abandoning that pursuit and flopping down next to her chest. She dragged an arm over him and he nuzzled into her. Would she do this if she was aware of who he was? Doubtful.

“You’re so warm,” she mumbled as she buried her face in his back.

She was quiet for a long time, he’d thought she’d gone to bed, before she muttered, “I’m worried about Kieran. He wasn’t at work today.”

He perked up and crawled out of her arms so he could perch near her face.

She whined at his absence before rolling onto her back.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” she said. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

Kieran meowed.

“You’re right. I am losing my mind,” she said before reaching up and scratching his neck.

“You look a lot like him though,” she admitted. “But you wouldn’t kill everyone we captured, strangle me, blame me for that, and then act like we’re fine, would you. Because you’re a cat and not an assassin I’m going to kick again the next time I see him. ”

That was weirdly specific enough that he wondered if she knew who he was. She had a point though, as much as he didn’t want to admit it.

Kieran crawled up and nestled between the curve of her breasts.

Lauren sighed, “I take back you not suffocating me. You’re heavy, Kieran.”

Kieran perked up. Oh no. Did she know?

Lauren seemed just as surprised as him that she’d called him that and quickly rolled over depositing him on the bed.

“Goodnight kitty.”

Kieran put his paws on her back trying to get her attention, but she wasn’t going to wake up and talk to him. And so instead he sulked himself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitty Kieran catches a case of the feelings.

The next morning Kieran was rudely woken by a crushing weight on top of him. He went to push it off but only managed to kick it with his tiny little legs. It was Lauren. She’d rolled on top of him in her sleep. He yowled his discontent and Lauren blearily opened her eyes before burying her face in his stomach.

“I’m sorry, Kieran,” she mumbled rumbling his chest. “I forgot you were there.”

It seems she’d settled on calling him Kieran, and it was odd hearing his own name being used for his cat self. Not that he would have appreciated a degrading baby name, but still he wasn’t sure if she knew he was a cat.

She didn’t know but she found the name suited the ball of rage she’d adopted. Besides calling a cat she could pick up and bully, when she couldn’t do it to the man who was his namesake, was spiritually healing.

Lauren crawled out of bed and headed to her closet to get ready for work. She set her clothes out on the bed while Kieran trotted over and rolled over them. He was determined to spread his black hair over all of her clothes.

“Kieran!” she shouted, “Get off I need those!”

He responded by lounging even more. Oh no. What would she do?

“You’re going to naughty jail if you don’t stop,” she scolded.

Please. She wasn’t going to, wait where was he going?

Lauren scooped him up and tossed him further onto the bed before setting a hamper down on top of him and a blanket on top of that. He couldn’t see her. He couldn’t get out. He stuck his paw through the slats and crawled at the blanket, but he couldn’t move it. So he sulked, curling his tail around himself and omitted the most irritated rumbling.

She didn’t let him out until she’d finished dressing. She’d even rolled herself off so there was no trace of his hair, or that she was his human.

He yowled his annoyance at this and jumped off the bed to tangle himself between her legs.

Lauren leaned down and stroked his head. “Kieran, I have to go to work.”

No stay. Pet me. Nap with me. I’m great and you like me.

But of course, she didn’t listen to him and instead headed for the doors and the stairs.

He followed her the whole weaving between her legs and being a general nuisance.

“Kieran, I have work!” Lauren tried again when she was at the door and he tried to dart out to follow her. She had to block him with her foot, and he was most displeased. “Bother the maids if you’re hungry. I’ll see you after work.”

Kieran complained but the door was already closed and locked. He put his paws on the door to watch her leave before darting back up the stairs so he could watch her from the window.

Was she really leaving? She was. She’d be gone all day. She always worked late. He was going to die. She was killing him right now.

Kieran curled his tail around his feet and sulked. Now he was just bored. Oh is that a vase.

In the alcove was a vase, not a large one, or even a fancy one, but it seemed like he could push it.

Kieran batted it with his paw. It slid a few inches. With a mischievous grin, he gave it a few more pats before sending it crashing to the floor alerting the maids.

Two came running, one from the kitchen, and another from upstairs.

“A cat?” one of them said. “What’s a cat doing here?”

“He broke the vase.”

“He looks like a stray. Catch him.”

No, I’m Lauren’s cat, he thought before hopping onto the railing and darting past the maid from the dining room. She tried to grab him. He was too fast.

He darted past her and towards the kitchen where he slipped in after a maid. Once there he hopped on the counter and stole a few pieces of bacon.

One of the maids shrieked. The maid from earlier came in with a broom.

She missed him though, with her swing, so he could race past her, and out the back door that was open. From there it was a series of hops, on garden pots, and windowsills, until he got to the roof where he could eat in quiet. He liked roofs. They gave a nice view.

Lauren had faded from his by now and she was probably already at work. She was probably at her desk hunched over some case, drinking the worst coffee he’d ever had, and talking to her coworkers. He wondered if she’d notice he wasn’t at work. He wondered if she’d miss him.

He didn’t think about though because the bacon was delicious. She was rich. Of course, she could afford good bacon.

When it was gone, consumed, and in his pint-sized stomach Kieran trotted over to the edge of the roof to look around.

The maids were still looking for him. If they found him, he was probably going to the pound and that wasn’t ideal. Of course, he couldn’t stay up here all day. He wasn’t to explore Lauren's room. She’d gotten to go through his things it was only fair he should get to do the same.

Still, she was going to be at work all day and there’d be lots of time for that. Enough time for a nap in the sunny hollow he found in the eaves.

Many hours later, when the sun was even brighter, and the search for the mystery cat had been abandon, Kieran perked back and went to the edge of the roof. He looked down onto the windowsill before seeing an open window he hadn’t noticed before and poked his head it.

It was the attic, a convenient space for storing things no one needed. Like a second locked room.

He sneezed at the dusk before wandering around the room. There were several boxes, many he hopped on for the sheer amusement of it, before he stopped in front of the white dress that was hanging on a dress form.

It was a wedding dress, probably her mother’s. He curled up at the feet as he admired it. It was nice, beautiful even. Lauren would look beautiful in it. Kieran pushed the thought out of his head. She was still angry with him, for understandable reasons, and he doubted that would change anytime soon. Wishful thinking would only end with heartache, and he had enough of that to last a lifetime. Still, it would fit her.

Kieran left the attic, bending his mostly liquid body out the window he’d come in before hopping back down and scurrying back inside the way he came.

They’d cleaned the stairs. The only evidence of his experiment was the absence of the vase, and even that he doubted anyone would notice.

He trotted up the stairs and began to poke his head in rooms as much to explore as to avoid the maids he was sure would hit him with a broom if he were to be discovered. Eventually, he was going to need to steal back into the kitchen for lunch but that was a later him problem.

Eventually, he found an office. It was a large room and wouldn’t have been remarkable if there hadn’t been a board against the wall covered in a sheet. That piqued his curiosity. Unfortunately, he wasn’t tall enough to take it down, but he had claws, and he had the dedication. Stretching himself and balancing against the wall he was able to snag the edge of the sheet and use his wait to rip it from the wall. It sending the sheet tumbling to the ground, but the board and its contents were intact.

Contents he, unfortunately, couldn’t see from the ground, so he hopped onto the desk to get a better look at. It looked like his own board, or their board, at the cave covered in documents, and pictures, and craft store’s supply of red yard and pins. Unlike theirs, though the center of hers was a picture of a boy, white hair, a hat, the one she was looking for, the one he’d been able to tease her into agreeing to work with him over. The only reason she tolerated him. Kieran’s tail lashed violently, and he considered jumping so he could shred the picture, but she’d hate that. And he wouldn’t do that too her.

In an even worse mood now Kieran retreated to Lauren's room and curled up in her bed, and her smell. She smelled lovely. Still, he wanted to leave some of his smell on her things. He rubbed his head against her blankets, and her pillows, and the chair legs, and the bookcase, and anything else the right size.

Eventually, he found his way onto her desk where he went through her books.

The Secret Garden, huh. Maybe they did have hobby’s in common.

He found one of her stray ties in the closet and started toting it around. He chased it. He batted it. He even cuddled up against it when he took a nap on her bed.

He was still holding it when evening came and the sound of the front door opening alerted him that Lauren was home, earlier than she might have been if she was meeting him at the cave. She must have missed him.

Kieran picked up the tie, fond of it now, and marched himself to top of the stairs where he saw the pair of maids informing an exhausted-looking Lauren of his day’s antics.

Lauren heard the patter of feet, and looked up at him.

He stopped ready to run back to her room if needed, not that it would prevent Lauren’s wrath if she was angry with him.

She didn’t seem to be though. She nodded to the maids, who glared at him when she informed them he was her new pet, before walking up the stairs and scooping him up. He took the slightly damp tie and rested it on her shoulder before rubbing her face against his.

He purred loudly and she squeezed him gently.

“Has he been fed yet?” Lauren asked.

“Um…no,” one of the maids said.

Lauren sighed and carried him back down the stairs towards the kitchen. “Alright. I’ll get him something.”

“Ma’am, you don’t need to—”

“I’d like to,” Lauren cut in looking even more exhausted than she had originally. “Did you leave a plate out for me?”

“Yes,” a maid said nervously.

“Thank you. Go to bed,” she said dismissing them before taking him into the kitchen and setting him down on the floor.

“I’ll need to buy you real food soon,” she said as she went to the cooler and pulled out her dinner. She cut the meat in half before setting it on a small plate on the floor for him. “I heard you were naughty today.”

I was lonely. I missed you.

“I’ll need to buy you toys,” Lauren said as she leaned against the counter to eat. “I can’t have you stealing all of my ties.”

I like your ties though.

Lauren sighed and raked her hand through her hair.

Kieran had finished eating so he went over and bumped against her leg.

She leaned down to pet him beside deciding instead to slide to the floor and sit there so he could crawl into her lap.

She smelled like dirt, and trees, and water, and him.

It occurred to him why she was so late, and why she looked so sad and worried. She’d gone to the cave. She’d looked for him.

Her food neglected, Lauren set her plate down and hugged him to her chest before pressing her head against his.

It hurt his ear. He didn’t mind.

“Kieran, the one I told you about yesterday, he wasn’t at work today again, and that’s not like him. I thought he was just sick, or busy, but he hasn’t been to the cave since—and I’m worried. What if something happened to him? I’m sure he’s fine. I’m sure I’m being ridiculous but if something happened to him how would I know?”

I would find a way to make sure you knew. I wouldn’t just up and vanish on you. But she’d gone to the cave to look for him. Even though it scared her. Even though—Kieran rumbled against her and she stroked his head down to his cheeks. He pushed his face into her hands and she smiled.

“You’re a good kitty.”

He was the best kitty. He was her kitty after all.

Lauren sighed and looked at her food. “Do you want any of this?”

Kieran hopped down and sniffed it. Not particularly.

Lauren got up with a small groan before picking up the food and scraping it into the trash. She set the plate in the sink and he followed her out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her room.

Once again, he was deprived of seeing her dress, or shower, but it bothered him less. He waited for her on her bed and pulled him beside her chest when she laid down. Normally it would be hot enough that he would complain but he didn’t, only rumble, as she went to sleep.


End file.
